IT’S MY BIRTHDAY AGAIN HERE IN BONAVISTA NEWFOUNDLAND
I chose this picture just down the road awhile 6 years back
It is appropriate for all our birthdays. Why? I believe we are all traveling on wavy, uncertain roads like these imagined or otherwise real – never knowing what is around the bend.
Ah! You relate to that concept? Yes, so do I. It is my birthday tomorrow and I am looking out my studio window thinking how far the ocean’s horizon is – much like my life.
Age has never meant much to me – not even now. It is how I feel about myself, where I have been, where I am and where I am going! To realize I am now facing only yards away our Newfoundland Atlantic Ocean with the Puffins who spend their time in active pursuit of food, companionship and yes fun! One could never be bored if you sit for awhile watching our beloved Atlantic Puffins sit , take off, dive, come back, yak with their neighbours and yes put on a show with the likes of all these professional photographers standing patiently waiting for the right moment to capture the true Atlantic Puffin in flight, diving or sharing a meal with their life long mate!
What do I see for myself from this point on? I need a good holiday – Glenn needs one too. I created these 3 businesses and believe I am a bit burnt out. Even then I feel this sense of pride that I had longed for since I was born. Going through all the ups and downs of that road you see ahead forced me to depend on me – forced me to “decorate my own garden” remembering that being married was not the destination but company along the way. I now am comfortable in my own body, in my emotional being and comfortable with who I am – no longer wishing I was something else or someone else. Now that is worth waiting for – this feeling of completion. I sure had to weed a lot out of this my garden and here I sit and it feels awfully good now.
My aim with the companies formed is to find a great employee who loves the boutique as much as I do along with the Gallery and the cottages. I will still be here but not tied to them all every summer. My goal is to keep them successful until my son and his family decide Toronto is enough and that living with 3 successful businesses is an attractive idea to them all. I am very psychic and always knew my son would be a very successful writer. This vision that I received over the years about my son’s destiny – is always he and his family will have options that i did not have. Living out in the true worth of God’s country – in an out-port with land surrounding them all. The ocean surrounding the other half of them. There is enough room to have large working gardens to grow their own food and be free living under the beautiful sky of Mother Earth’s.
I feel the same as I did forever ago – I feel at this point one will live forever and I have no fear. I love reading, creating something that all can share in and ensure it is exotic enough with high quality products that can fill a woman’s taste in a free eclectic way. When I was living in a house of abuse – the house that Jack built – I had the lake as my best friend. I now have the ocean, the sky, birds, Puffins, the lighthouses, the adventure when I open my eyes every morning – oh I say to Glenn – Look at that gorgeous sky – and the birds – so many varieties, the icebergs are hanging out now – the ocean’s waves I swear are here waiting for me to get up so they can perform all the moves they do – and they talk with me as I do with them as I did as a child without a home and certainly without a family and absolutely no sense of self or feeling as I belong to anything or anyone. I have always had moon and stars. Do you remember when you last lay on your back where there was no one around – not even trees? I remember laying with a guy I hardly knew just side by side – nothing romantic – but it was. I asked if we could stop and look at the stars. He thought that is a good idea and so we climbed up a large hill to its top and lay side by side no romance – just two people wanting to see a million stars high above – and there they all were – Big Dipper, The Little Dipper – Betalgize, North Star, Mars, and here we were – two people who decided to stop life but for a moment and created a cherished lifelong memory. Just stopped in the middle of no where and yet I felt I was home. For me home was anywhere and everywhere-as long as my parents were not anywhere near. Written, directed and lived by ej…